Let your fountain be blessed, And rejoice in the wife of your youth. Proverbs 5:18
A call to moral sanity will always involve a call to rejoice in marriage. In studying to comment on this passage I noticed an interesting dichotomy among commentators. Many shied away from speaking of sexual love in marriage when referring to things in this passage. They wanted to make all the allusions and word pictures within it refer to children instead. I found this a little sad, because between this passage and the entire book of Song of Solomon, God does not even remotely shy away from the subject of the joys of physical intimacy within marriage. In the past too many in the church felt to speak of such things was dirty or out of bounds. But in donig so we relegated the idea of physical pleasure in sex to those who engaged in it outside the bounds of marriage. Now I am not advocating that we go into explicit detail about such things, because God has informed us in Hebrews that we are to keep the marriage bed holy, but I am saying that where God's Word addresses such things, we should not be afraid to address them as well. What we are encouraged to do here in this passage is to rejoice in the wife of our youth. We are told that to enjoy physical intimacy with our wife is to allow our fountain to be blessed. The fountain here is a picture of a life-giving source - and the blessed result of sexual intimacy within marriage is that children are produced - which continues the cycle of life. But God is not just speaking of having a child - He is speaking of the process of intimacy which is enjoyed within the sexual union of a married couple. He says that this should be a time when we are blessed. That means God, who made us sexual beings - and who also designed our sexual organs - knew that this was going to be an enjoyable act. He commands us here, through the father speaking to His son, that we should rejoice in the wife of our youth. It is clear that what is said in the following verses refers to love-making between a husband and wife. God wants that to be enjoyable. Please remember though the context of this passage. This is a father instructing his son about the dangers of sexual immorality and warning him to stay away from adultery and from fornication. It is wonderful to see that in the midst of a talk on moral sanity that a father would tell his son that God's intent for sex is that it be thoroughly enjoyed within the framework of biblical marriage. This is sexual sanity - and it is ignored only to the detriment and hurt of those who do so. But for those who grasp God's view of sex - who see it as God intended for it to be enjoyed - this talk between father and son is wonderfully liberating. It lets us know that God did create sex - and He created the biological reality that sex is very pleasurable. But it tells us such things within the context of God's intent for sexual union. And that can ONLY be blessed within the bonds of marriage. Within that union there is no guilt, no STD's, no prospect of illegitimacy, and no sense of sin. But when we get outside the boundaries which God has set for sexual intimacy, such things abound. That is why it is so vital that we speak with our sons and daughters of such things - because to leave those topics to others is only to surrender them to the sexual insanity that now rules the greater part of mankind.
1 Comment
Should your springs be dispersed abroad, Streams of water in the streets? Let them be yours alone And not for strangers with you. Proverbs 5:16-17
Part of sexually sane living is realizing what is at risk when we begin having sex outside the bounds of our marriage. Here we have a reference to where our seed as men will go when we decide to begin committing adultery. The father tells his son not to have his springs dispersed abroad - like streams of water in the streets. The picture here is how a man's seed should be kept for his wife - and only his wife. When a man begins committing adultery and resorting to women who do the same, he is risking pregnancy with a woman who is not his wife. Unfortunately we have myriad examples of this in our current day. Men, who do not care with whom they have sex, wind up impregnating women who are not their wives. Thus their seed is like a spring dispersed abroad - like water in the streets. The result is a society where there are illegitimate children running around - without fathers. A man who does such things is a man who will have his name and his reputation damaged over time. Since he does not care for the children properly they tend to go astray and to cause problems. When people learn that they are the illegitimate children of a man - that man's name suffers greatly - as do the children whom he has sired - but does not rear for God. God says to let our seed by ours alone - and not something that is shared with strangers. God intended for a man and a woman to be married, then to share in sexual intercourse. It was never His intention or will that men should have multiple children with multiple wives. This creates very serious problems over time. It causes problems for the family - for the husband and wife - for their children - and for the child who is uncared for by a father later in life. There is also the problem of what happens to the woman who is used in this way. Quite often this woman grows very bitter and angry at the man who has used her for sex - but is unwilling to commit to her . . . or to her child. God knows the damage that comes from ignoring His Word and the principles upon which it is based. This is multiplied many times over when a man fathers illegitimately. Unfortunately most men do not even consider such things - they are looking only for the pleasure of the moment rather than thinking about the long-term affects of their immorality. That is why it is left to godly fathers to warn their sons of such things. May we be wise and do such things with our sons and daughters - to hopefully promote a little more sexual sanity in our world. Drink water from your own cistern And fresh water from your own well.
Proverbs 5:15 As David finishes teaching Solomon about the need for purity and faithfulness to marriage, he turns to several verses of instruction. He has given his son a command to steer clear of adultery, prostitutes, and sexual sin. He has given him very severe warnings about what will happen if he succombs to such things. Now he turns his attention to some principles by which his son should live. This is a call for sexual sanity in a world that knows little of it. These verses should be known and taught to men and boys everywhere. I fear that because we do not teach such things to our guys, we suffer greatly because of a lack of wisdom and direction in such areas. Throughout this section David uses imagery to get his point across to his son. Most of this imagery is not difficult to follow, although there is some debate on it. Today's verse is pretty clearly speaking of being faithful to your wife. David tells Solomon to "Drink water from your own cistern." The cistern is a reference to a wife given by the Lord. Here Solomon is reminded to seek out his needs for sexual intimacy in his home, with his wife. David is saying to him, "Be satisfied with your own wife - and find fulfillment in your relationship and physical intimacy with her." As a man would drink water from his cistern and from the fresh water of his own well, so a man should enjoy the satisfaction of conjugal love with his wife. Note that here we see this referred to as "fresh water" from one's own well. In the modern era we've seen the horrible effects of people drinking bad water. When a disaster takes place in the world one of the most oft seen diseases is cholera - which comes primarily from drinking bad water. Spiritual and relational cholera happens when we decide that we want to drink from the waters all over the streets - rather than drink from the fresh waters of our own well. We have also seen in the modern era the meteoric rise of sexually transmitted diseases which are running rampant in our world. Such diseases are completely unnecessary and can be avoided entirely. The problem lies in that mankind does not like the cure - sexual abstinence before marriage and faithfulness to monogamy within marriage. Because much of society has rejected such things, we endure over 35 incurable sexually transmitted diseases that roam almost unchecked in our society. The simple counsel of a godly father to his son is the start of sexual sanity in our minds and in our lives. It is a guard against so many things that when loosed are a pandora's box of problems for us and for our nation. The onl way that we can begin to address all of pandora's evils is to have godly fathers once again arise and be first an example to their children - and then teach them by precept as well of God's ways and paths. In the day that this happens, we will begin to see a revival of sexual sanity once again in our homes, our community, and eventually our nation. Give me your heart, my son, And let your eyes delight in my ways. For a harlot is a deep pit And an adulterous woman is a narrow well. Surely she lurks as a robber, And increases the faithless among men. Proverbs 23:26-28
Why should a man ask for the hearts of his children - especially the hearts of his sons? That is a good question because in our day we are told that our children need to think for themselves - which is true. The problem comes when that statement is made meaning that they should throw off the beliefs and morals of their parents and adopt the foolish morals of society itself. That is not wisdom but the height of foolishness. From what is said here by the Lord in verses 26-28 we will see why this is such a bad thing for the sons of a society to do. The plea of the father is simple - he wants to have his son's heart. He asks for it very plainly - and restates his request so that we understand that for which he asks. He wants his son to delight in his ways. The request is that his son sets or places his heart in the hands of his father. The restatement of that request lets us see that the father desires for his son to adopt and take up his ways. But this is not a request for the son to grudgingly take up his father's ways - but rather that the son would "delight" in them. "Ratsah" is delight and it means to accept something favorably - to be pleased with it. The father desires for his son to enjoy and favor the ways that he teaches him. This is nothing more than passing to our son the same way we live - to pass our morals and our beliefs to them. And we will see in the very next verse why this is important. Whose job is it to pass to the next generation the things of God and the ways of the Lord? It is the job of the father to do this - and if the father does not take this task seriously - the problems of this passage will riase their ugly head in any society. When a son does not delight in the godly ways of a godly father, what results is that the desires of his lower nature take over and head in a hell-ward direction. One of the first things that will show itself is the lusts of his flesh. Granted this is a two way street - for the one he is warned of is the harlot - the immoral woman. The truth is that without the influence of godly fathers, the daughters also turn away from the things of the Lord - and find that their fallen nature takes over in their choices as well. The son is warned that the harlot is a deep pit. In Proverbs 22:14 this deep pit is identified as the mouth and voice of the harlot and the prostitute. She lures one in with her words and with her enticing promises of sex that is beyond that which marital life can offer. The fool is the one who listens to her - draws near - and then falls into this deep pit. And for what reason is a deep pit dug other than to lure the unsuspecting animal near for the capture and the kill. The end of the matter is death and destruction. One finds himself lying broken in the bottom of the pit with no way out. so also is the adulterous one - who begins thinking only of pleasure and ends knowing nothing but guilt and destruction. The "adulterous" woman here is actually the "strange" or "foreign" woman. God warned against these women because of how they would tempt His people to leave Him and worship their foreign gods instead. Interesting is the fact that the vast majority of this alien worship involved sexual immorality and the abandonment of the marriage vow and the defilement of the marriage bed. This foreign or strange woman is described as a "narrow well." The word here for well is "beer" and it can mean either a well of refreshing water - or a narrow pit that only offers entrapment and misery. What I find fascinating about the use of this word is that God encourages us elsewhere in Proverbs to "drink water from your own well," in reference to the sexual relationship in marriage. But when we abandon our "own well," and go out into the streets seeking illicit sexual affairs - we move from our own well to a narrow pit that holds no water - but rather holds us in our sin and disgrace as the illicit sexual activity destroys our families and our marriages. While the foreign woman promises incredible sexual ecstacies to the fool she seeks to entice, the truth is that she is lurking like a predator, ready to pounce upon her unsuspecting prey. Just like the male black widow spider is lured to mate with the female - not realizing that she will destroy and consume him when the act is done - so the fool strolls into the den of the whore not fully seeing that this is not a pleasure den, but a robber's lure. Still, he comes, thinking that this is all about pleasure, when he is about to experience the trigger of the trap that will enslave him. He is about to have stolen from him all that he will truly treasure. This robber is waiting to add to her own lair of prey. She desires to increase the "faithless among men." This faithlessness is called "treachery" in the Old Testament. There is a word we don't seem to use as much any longer. This word means to act as a traitor and to betray someone. Here it refers to those who are married and their treachery toward their wives and toward the Lord before Whom they entered into their marriage vows. How many marriages have been destroyed simply because a man did not remember his vows before God - instead choosing to listen to the lies of his own flesh and the tantalizing lies of a strange woman. Oh, fathers, how we need to do two very valuable things in life. First, how we need to treasure our wives. We need first to SHOW the way to our sons by how we treat our wives and cling to them. You cannot have instruction without example - and in this situation how the world needs the example of godly fathers cherishing their wives in front of their children. Second, we need to have a generation of fathers who desperately want their son's hearts. We need to call to them to cherish the father-son relationship as a place where they can receive wisdom and instruction and warning. We need to love them and delight in them so that they continue to give their hearts to us. Then, when we have that marvelous gift of their hearts, we need to use that trust to teach them the things of the Lord - urging them to a lifestyle and to choices that will bless them for generations. Among these teachings is desperately needed a call to watch their own hearts - covet the strength of their own marriages - and to protect the purity of their marriage covenants before God. As a ring of gold in a swine's snout So is a beautiful woman who lacks discretion. Proverbs 11:22
One way to deal with lust is to redirect our thoughts and redraw pictures in our mind's eye so that they no longer look good to us. Interesting that Proverbs encourages us to do just that. We live in a time when women are not taught modesty according to biblical standards. It is difficult to be a man who desires to keep his eyes pure in this present world. We are assaulted daily with images from the world that present women in a way that promotes sexual immorality. The number of images that we face in an average day may shock us if we ever counted them - which I don't encourage any man to do. How do we deal with this pictoral minefield? Proverbs does it with a picture. It is not a pretty picture though - and it is meant to disgust us. God depicts a beautiful woman who lacks discretion in a way that will turn our stomachs if we think long enough about it - and that is what I would encourage any man to do when he is confronted with images that tempt him to lust. Like a ring of gold . . . there is something desirable and something beautiful. Consider a ring of 24 karat gold before you. It is designed flawlessly and is a work of sheer beauty. This could be an ornament that would enhance the beauty of any woman who wears it. The problem is a woman is not wearing it in this passage. This beautiful ring of gold is pierced through a swine's snout. When you think about this - it is a truly disgusting picture. Consider a large pig that has just come from rooting its snout in a trough of swill. As you focus on the beautiful ring - you see it is pierced through the snout of this pig. The ring itself is dripping with the refuse of all the spoiled rotten food that was in the trough. In addition to this it is also dripping with the mucus from the pig's nose. Not a pretty picture, huh? Now first of all I want to thank you for bearing with me as I took you through a very disgusting picture. But there is method to my madness. Consider for a moment whether you would be tempted to stare at this ring - desring to take it and put it on as an ornament. Your rightful response would be to say, "NO! Not in the slightest would I want anything to do with that disgusting piece of jewelry." This is why God describes this beautiful woman in this way. If we focused simply upon her beauty, we would be drawn in to her. But, when we see the heart, we are introduced to something vile and disgusting. She may be beautiful, but she is lacking in any godliness or heart that seeks to honor God. She takes her beauty and uses it to lure attention to herself. She wants attention from men - and seeks to get it in all the wrong ways. She is encouraging sin in men and that is odious in God's sight. The Lord encourages her to clothe herself in righteousness and in godly good works. Instead she clothes herself in lustful outfits that draw men's attention to her figure rather than her face and character. This is not a beautiful woman - any more than the gold ring in the swine's snout is beautiful. We just need to look at things from God's perspective rather than our own. A picture is worth a thousand words - and a picture that encourages us to righteousness is worth a thousand fortunes. In a sexually super-charged world like ours - it would be wise to take this picture and use it daily. For at the window of my house I looked out through my lattice, And I saw among the naive, And discerned among the youths A young man lacking sense, Passing through the street near her corner; And he takes the way to her house, In the twilight, in the evening, In the middle of the night and in the darkness. Proverbs 7:6-9
I find it not only interesting, but also highly instructive to see that God addresses the issue of sexual immorality several times in the opening chapters of Proverbs. Far from being a book that is out of date and not in step with the times, the Bible is very instructive to any generation that would pick it up and seek to learn from it. The current verses from Proverbs 7 read more like a script from a soap opera than they do the Bible - but that is the dig isn't it. The Bible does address the core corruptions of man - and does so with amazing clarity and color. That is why it can be so instructive if we will listen. This all starts innocently enough. The writer is looking out of the window of his home - through the lattice in the window to see what he can see at night. Again, typical evening in a typical town anywhere in the world. But that is where things, unfortunately in a typical fashion, become not just interesting, but instructive. He sees one "among the naive," one of the simple-minded ones. This is not a compliment - this one is simple-minded because as we will continue to see, he is NOT wise. As he looks he begins to discern something about this young man - he saw deeper than skin deep - and what he saw was not good. This was "a young man lacking sense." The word sense is interesting. It means he lacked heart - he was wanting and very needy - this young man did not have a heart for God - and his heart was in great need of change and transformation. When we get involved in sexual immorality we are among those who lack a heart for God. We are unwise and simple-minded to miss the danger in turning from God to our own fallen hearts. If we are going to stand against the wiles of the devil and those of the world, we need a heart for God. The fact is that these attacks - those that entice our flesh and our eyes and the pride of living our lives as we want - are some of the wicked one's most effective advances. It will take a heart that is regenerated and renewed to stand in these moments. And that is not what this young man possessed. Therefore we continue to read of his demise. We see what a heart that is not turned to the Lord does here. It may not run directly into sin - but it definitely does not take the principled road either. He takes his journey in a bad part of town - at least a bad part for those with sexual immorality issues in their lives. He does not flee sexual immorality as the Scriptures advise. He decides to "pass through" the street near to the immoral woman's house. He wants to flirt with evil - probably thinking he can handle it in the end. The fact is that he cannot handle it - and as he walks near her house - he suddenly finds that he is taking the way to her house. Here is wisdom for us in regard to sexual immorality. Stay FAR from temptation. There are times when temptation will come to you - and that is unavoidable. But for the vast majority of life - our proximity to temptation is a matter of our choice. Now, just because you are near to temptation does not mean you will succomb to it, but the closer you get to sinning - the more likely you will choose to sin. The wise man steers clear of the harlot's house. He stays away from the woman who flirts with him. He avoids the loose-moraled women of the world. But this young man reveals his total lack of discernment by heading near her house. Here is a piece of advice that will pay off for you if you will heed it. When you have a problem with an area of temptation, stay far away from it. When you have the thought that you can go near it - or you have a strong urge to go around it - put that thought out of your mind. This is the prelude to failure and acting out. God will not lead you "hang around" temptation. In fact He instructed us to pray that He would NOT lead us into temptation. When this young man took the way near her corner - he knew within that she would be there. Secretly - at least at a heart level - he wanted her to come out and meet him. To make such a calculated mistake is to make provision for our sin - something the Scripture expressly forbids. Some may read the previous paragraph and accuse me of prejudice and judgmentalism toward this young man. How could I make such strident comments about him? I make these comments because this young man is not fulfilling Scripture - he is ignoring it. Why would he make such choices? Why would he make them when it is twilight? There is a reason - a twofold reason. First, he has every intent in the recesses of his heart to walk in immorality. Why else would he go out near her house after the sun has set? Why would he wait until dark? Another thing we might not be aware of too is that this was the time when prostitutes and women of this type would go out to ply their trade among men who left their morals elsewhere. To go at this hour to this location was the height of folly - and the prelude to disaster as we see later. This young man lacks heart - that is the estimation given to us in verse 7 of this passage. He lacks the heart to stand firm in God's ways and avoid the pitfalls of his own flesh. He starts on a journey near her home deceiving himself of his intention to meet her. He gives in quickly when she arrives to deceive him. He is not dealing with his core corruptions - not being honest with himself that he is planning on being sexually immoral - and he is not being true to God's standards even as he sets out on his unwise course. The attitude of one avoiding sin is absent in his mind. If it was he would know that the wise man views sin as a plague - as a deadly wild beast whose only desire is to catch and devour him. If that were his mindset - he would have fled this scene instead of having walked into it. May God give us grace to do the same! For on account of a harlot one is reduced to a loaf of bread, And an adulteress hunts for the precious life. Can a man take fire in his bosom And his clothes not be burned? Or can a man walk on hot coals And his feet not be scorched? So is the one who goes in to his neighbor's wife; Whoever touches her will not go unpunished. Proverbs 6:26-29
Here we have the "harlot" described for us in very expressive language. Interesting that we don't even call sexually immoral women harlots any longer - but the term is what God uses to describe a woman who has sexual relations with men - and is not married to them. Harlot is the word "zanah" and it means to commit fornication, another word we've left behind in our enlightenment - or should we say, "endarkenment." This word is used to describe anything from adultery and prostitution to fornication and unfaithfulness. It is the word used for the women involved in sexual immorality, and that is what it refers to in this passage. Let's take a closer look at how she is described. 1. She reduces you to a loaf of bread . . . This was the price of a prostitute. What God intended to be a beautiful thing in the sexual relationship between a man and a woman has now been reduced to giving someone a loaf of bread for sex. What a sad picture of how high we fall. 2. She hunts for the precious life . . . The adulteress hunts for our very lives. Too often we see sexual things in our lives without this revelation. We would think twice about illicit sex if we grasped that we were not being seduced - we were being hunted for the kill. 3. Hugging fire . . . The harlot wants us to think of her embraces. She's there to comfort us and bring us pleasure. Interesting that the Scriptures say that when we do this we're hugging fire to ourselves. The harlot promises pleasurable embraces - but would we think of them this way if we were getting ready to hug a burning log to our chests with the result that we'd be badly burned? 4. Burned clothes . . . The result of embracing the harlot is to be physically burned - and what would be burned is our clothes first of all. All affairs seek secrecy. We don't want any trace of our indiscretions leaving any evidence. But in a day when a person had very few changes of clothes - we are told doing this is like embracing fire while thinking your clothes won't be burned. The fact is there is evidence - and just like burned clothes - their will be proof of our unfaithfulness. 5. Walking on hot coals . . . The harlot wants us to think that we can walk into her bedroom without harming ourselves. Yet the Scriptures tell us that doing so is like walking on hot coals and thinking we won't burn our feet. Our "walk" is going to be extremely hindered! That is the result of sexual immorality. We get burned - and that burning severely hinders our ability to walk with the Lord - and sometimes walk much at all. Imagine being laid up for weeks with feet scorched and blistered. Those caught in adultery not only hinder their walk with God - for many it is even painful to walk outside among people because of the stigma attached to their actions. Think first about this - before visiting the harlot. The conclusion to this is a warning - so is the one who has sex with his neighbor's wife! All these pictures - and they are graphic pictures indeed - are what we'll get for a few moments of stolen pleasure. Just seeing these things by themselves - we'd run from the situation - but our problem is that often the pleasure promised - and our blindness to the situation - keep us from seeing all this. God knows that these graphic pictures will help us to see the real danger - the real harm - the real damage that will come from visiting the harlot. The warning is clear - "Whoever touches her will not go unpunished!" This word "unpunished" means to be acquitted - to be declared free, clean, or pure. The one who visits and uses the harlot will not enjoy these things. There will be punishment for adultery - and that punishment is sure. Ours is a visual society . . . and that in itself is often why we get in trouble. The harlot used to be a physical woman alone - and not images we see on billboards, in magazines, and in movies and television shows. But thanks be to God that in His battle against sin He has given us pictures - graphic portrayals that get our attention. He does so to remind us of the dangers of sexual sin. May we see the pictures - be horrified at what they show us - and turn from the harlot at every opportunity for sin. |
Proverb a DayEach day, we'll take a look at a verse from the chapter of Proverbs for the day. Our hope is to gain wisdom each day - and from that wisdom - to have understanding to make godly decisions in the throes of everyday life. Thank you for visiting our website! Everything on this site is offered for free. If, however, you would like to make a donation to help pay for its continued presence on the internet, you can do that by clicking here. The only thing we ask is that you give first to the local church you attend. Thank you!
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